-involves readers in the story.
I think it involves the reader because in the intro I am describing where I am and what I am thinking but I don’t just say right off the back that I am in the doctors office waiting on test results.
-relates events in sequence.
I don’t jump around too much and I’m not all over the place so that’s good.
-includes detailed observations of people, places, and events.
I think I could add more descriptive detail when describing my surrounding through out the story.
-presents important changes, contrasts, or conflicts and creates tension.
I think I do a good job of setting the mood and describing what I’m feeling throughout the story.
- is told from a point of view--usually the author's point of view.
Defiantly told from my point of view
-focuses on connection between past events, people, or places and the present.
Yup
-makes a point, communicates a main idea or dominant impression.
Yup
n I think the biggest thing that I have to fix is that it is all pretty much in past tense so I have to basically rewrite it and add present tense and dialog.
Name of Reviewed Individual: katie Allison
ReplyDelete1. What are the strengths of your partner’s essay? Why?
-a lot ot details
2. What areas could use improvements? In other words, what suggestions can you give
your partner that will help his/her paper improve?
-sentences are way too long. Break it up a little
3. What is your favorite literary device used in your partner’s essay?
-sensory details and describing her feelings.
4. What is the part of the paper that stands out as the most "catchy" or important?
-it ended with a hook. she ended talking about her mom taking her to the doctor but didn't talk about what happend.