Taking it all in Strives
By: Katie Allison
Sitting on the crinkly, cold patient seat in the waiting of the doctor’s office, staring into space with a thousand “what ifs” running through my head. “What if this is going the end of my swim season?” “What if my coach gets super mad?” “What if I can’t keep up in school because of this?” Then just as I had begun to feel my stomach sink between my feet the doctor walked in and blurted out “Yup, its positive, its Mono”. Right then and there, all I can remember is a buzzing sound in my ear that took the place of the doctor’s and my mother’s words. The next thing I remember is pulling out of the parking lot, sitting in the front seat of the car, staring in the review mirror, holding back the tears. My mother went on about how I might not be able to go to school for weeks and how I wasn’t going be able to go to swim practice, or might not even be able to hang out with friends. This was crushing news; I hate just sitting around and love to always be on the go. “Why me?” I thought to myself.
This swim season was pictorially interesting for me. Now that I was in 8th grade this would be my last year before high school swimming, my coaches were counting on me to be a leader among my team mates now that I was the oldest on the team and have been on the team the longest. This was quite exciting for me. I liked that my teammates and coaches viewed me as a leader but at the same time, I was beginning to feel burnt out on swimming. I had been on the team, swimming year round sense first grade. I wasn’t even sure anymore if I even wanted to be on the team. To make things worse, all my closest friends had entered high school while I was still in middle school. I never got to see them at practice anymore. On top of all this stress, I was burnout and now I had to add Mono to the equation.
I was determined not to fall to behind in school, I made it my goal to miss as little school as possible. I ended up only missing a four days of school. After all that time on bed rest, I was more than ready to get back to school that following Monday. I was ready to hit-the-books and get caught up. This high positive attitude followed me through the day and even followed me to the pool that evening. I went to talk to my coach at the pool and tell him that I had Mono, and that I wasn’t going to be able to practice for two weeks. Deep inside I don’t think I could have been so happy. I got to take two weeks off of swimming; shoot I was jumping up and down inside! “For once I get to take a break, sit on the couch and watch TV like a normal kid” I could help but think to myself the entire time I was talking with him. That tingly sensation of relief that I would finally get a break from swimming would soon fade.
During my time off from swimming I was able to catch up with my friends that were in high school. They beamed with joy when telling me all about how swimming was so much better in high school. They explained how they had met so many people and how they were beginning to have so much success on the team already. I was very happy for them but at the same time my eyes quickly turned to a deep burning shade of green. I had just had a static and rough season the past two years. It simply was getting hard to enjoy swimming because it felt like I wasn’t getting the results I wanted or payoff for the all work I was putting in at practice. And now I was lucky enough to pile Mono on to my shit list.
Once I was back practicing six nights a week, my frustrations with swimming had begun to grow, with my growing frustration came resentment towards the sport. Especially now what I had experienced what it is like to have free time. I missed it and being able to just relax. I started to wonder why I didn’t just quit swimming, and why I had even chosen to swim year round for the past 8 years. This unanswered question really bothered me. But I continued to go to practice each day. During those laps that never seemed to end I would think about that question, and what its answer could possibly be.
Ten days back into training with little effort, I started to think about next week’s meet as I was practicing the god awful mile. I found myself still pondering that taunting, unanswered question that seemed to just sit in the back of my head. I starting think about my very first time winning a race, or the first time I qualified for states and all the fun times I had hanging out and cheering for my teammates. The happy memories that were coming back to me seemed to strip me of all the anger, and resentment I was feeling. Right there in the middle of that mile swim I found the answer to my question.
Now feeling cleansed, and a sense of relief, I could I clearly remember all the times when I had so much success and even finished top in the State in my age groups during the past seasons. Clearly remembering that feeling of being so proud of what I accomplished and how happy my parents were it see me reaching my goals. It was then that I made a small decision that would have a huge impact on my attitude and self. I decided that if I wanted to be happy in the pool again, then I had to step it up, inside and outside of the pool. I started getting to practice earlier, training twice has hard, and watching what I was eating. I soon started to see more improvement and I finally could see the light at the end of tunnel.
As I hoisted myself out of the pool after a Saturday morning workout I could hear someone calling my name, “Katie! Come here real quick.” As I walk towards that voice a feeling of shock over took me as I realized it was the Worthington High School coach Jim Callahan that was calling me over. Placing a friendly hand on the back of my shoulder he said “Hey Katie!” “I'm so glad to see that you’re back in the water training again! I’m sorry to hear that you got mono.” “ Thanks Jim!” “Yeah, it just feels great to be able to workout again. Now I just have to focus on playing catch up so I can get back on track and so I can be a real competitor at the State meet in a few months.” Without hesitation, he responded “Well I'm really glad to hear that you’re really going at it. We can’t wait to have a work ethic like that on the team next year and get you on those relays.” “I can’t wait for next year its going to be so much fun!” I said with a smile. “Well you know you’re more than welcome to come and swim with us at 5:30am for morning workout before school if you would like to get a few extra workouts in.” Replying with compete sincerity. “Then I guess I will see you Monday morning at 5:30am then coach!”
For the next 8 weeks I attended every morning practice Monday through Friday and every evening practice with my own team. I don’t think I had ever worked so hard in my life. Not only was I practicing 20 hours a week but I was only drinking water and kept my self on a strict, healthy meal plan for those 8 weeks. That year despite all the battles I had to face, I still faced them head on.
I ended up having one of the best meet of my life that year at States and I owe it to those battles I had to overcome. They helped me learn a lesson that could not be found in a book or taught in a classroom. It has become the core of my work ethic, “You never know how far you can go until you have gone farther than you ever have before. “
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